Mean Reds

I'm feeling really down today. I had a hard time sleeping last night as well as the night before, and of course that makes it so hard to concentrate. There are just 3 more weeks of the semester until summer break starts, which is encouraging. These 3 weeks feel like they will last forever, though. It's like I'm in a tunnel (forgive the cliche simile) and have been traveling for about a billion years, and I keep expecting the tunnel to end. "The tunnel is ending soon" everyone says to me, so I pick up my feet and go faster and faster until I'm running, and still the end doesn't come. "The tunnel is ending, Violet, keep going! Go go go! You can't stop!" and all I want to do is stop.
The older I get, the more quickly time seems to pass. December used to be such a trial, waiting 25 whole days until Christmas. Months felt like years. But I'm older now, and all the good things go by so fast, while the bad last for such a painfully long time. Like waiting for Christmas.
I've been trying to figure out what it is that's bothering me so. There's always so much going on in life, of course, so it can be hard to keep track of what's going on (if that makes any sort of sense). I've been working through a terrifically crappy breakup, which seems to be the root of how I'm feeling. Then there's everything on top, with the health problems of my grandparents, and my jobs, and just... there's so much to do. There's literally always something I'm supposed to be doing. Anyways.
I'm sorry about the complaining... I've caught a flu sort of thing and have had this migraine headache thing for, like, a month. How I've been feeling reminds me a lot of Breakfast at Tiffany's, and how Miss Golightly has a whole monologue about the "mean reds". I'll attach a video. (For the record, Breakfast at Tiffany's is my favorite movie.)

I do have some really good things going for me, of course. Like is always a rather confusing mix of good and bad. I'm thinking of applying for some freelance writing jobs; I feel like I could really excel at that. My uncle has offered me a job writing articles for his business, making as much as $50 an article, so that's encouraging! I'm doing fair in all of my classes; I have mostly Bs and obviously would prefer As, but I'm told that most Freshmen struggle. My English 2260 told me that her Freshman year, she had pretty rotten grades, but the next year she aced every class. Apparently you just have to get in the swing of things. Finally, I got an A+ on this massive writing project for that class, and was told that I really do have potential as a professional writer-- even a novelist!