2011-2012 School Year

So a new school year is upon us all. My school year begins in a little less than 2 weeks, on August 22. Even though I still have time for a summer in the sun, here I am, sitting at school. See, I commited to go to our school's Yearbook Camp. To be perfectly honest, I was really, really excited to go, but now I'm not so happy about it. It's not the class that is bothering me, but rather those attending. Now, I must sound like such a jerk right now, so let me elaborate. Yesterday was the first day. As I already established, I was very excited.However, as the day moved on, I obviously was not welcome there. The other students attending had already been in the class for a full year, as well as went to the Snowbird Yearbook Seminar. So, I guess the group had already bonded, and there was no room left for "outsiders". So, in an attempt to be better accepted, I made a big decision involving my 10th grade year in high school. I took on yet another extra class. Please keep in mind that I had already enrolled in all AP core classes, as well had several other challenging electives. Let me paint you a picture: Ap Biology, AP World Civ, Pre AP 10th English,Ceramics2, and Orchestra. And those are just the classes I enrolled in willingly. Lets try not to think about gym or health. . . Anyways, so yesterday in a desperate attempt to be accepted, I took on publications as well. Now I am enrolled in English3 (That's 11th grade English online. Then, I should add on my online computer technology class, and an online medical anatomy class. Plus sports. This year, I am planning on joining the swim team, and practicing volleyball. And school plays. And advanced choir. And drivers ed. On top of EVERYTHING else. Like dishes, and vacuuming, and wiping toilets clean. And then a job, so that I can buy handy things like friends. Just kidding, just kidding. I only say that, because I have no friends, at least not any who are going to school with me. So, I know it is really obnoxious for me to complain to who knows how many other people who have their own lives and problems. I just. . . I don't want to tell my parents, because I want them to feel like I can handle all of this, and I want them to be able to trust me. But if I go ahead and tell them about all this, plus everything else, I imagine they would encourage me to do less, but I want to, idk, prove myself to them. Because in all my years (which really isn't that many) I feel like I haven't been up to snuff. I'm not exactly skinny, and I'm not paticularly smart. I'm pretty much just a big burden to everyone around me. I'd really like to show them I can take care of myself this year, or at least begin to. I want them to know how hard I try, without acting like I have to try hard. As if that makes any sense. I guess, in a nutshell, I want to be perfect for them. God knows i have my flaws, but I wish everybody else didn't have to know about them. So here I sit, complaining and ranting to some random people, who I'll never meet. Or maybe I'm ranting to no one. I don't know. I very seriously doubt anyone actually ready my blog, but it's nice to pretend there are people out there who hear (well, see) my words, and understand. So, I guess that's about it. I imagine I'll get through it, eventually. It's not like a lot of schoolwork can kill me, right? Anyways, I'll keep my invisible and potencially non-existant audiance posted. :D